| Location | Adelaide |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 21/06/2000 |
| Date of Death | 21/06/2000 |
| Visitors | 863 since 08/07/2008 |
| Creator |
**********ATTENTION********
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING TO JAYLEI'S ANGEL PAGE, PLEASE.... BEAR IN MIND THAT DUE TO TRAGIC
CIRCUMSTANCES WE DID NOT KNOW THE GENDER OF JAYLEI.... SO PLEASE REFRAIN FROM NAMING JAYLEI A SHE OR
HE.... IT HURTS ALOT AS YOU COULD IMAGINE AS IT IS AN UNANSWERED QUESTION IN GODS HANDS.... THANK
YOU SO MUCH....***************************
Finding out I was pregnant with Jaylei shortly after my father (Trevor Hansen) commit suicide was my
reason to live....
I was 17yrs old but Jaylei's father & I couldn't of been happier as we planned what to buy and all
the joy of what we were going to have...
I lost Jaylei due to violence inflicted on myself from my mother (Now deceased) and the stress, i
started bleeding...
The next day at the ultrasound they informed us their was no heartbeat, so that afternoon i gave
birth to Jaylei, gestation of 18-20 weeks.... On the 21st June 2000 Jaylei was measured small for
the gestation on the scan which made me further along than I initially thought.
It was heartbreaking and i felt no hope in my life after the way the birth went it is something that
eats away at me always....
Jaylei's father & I went our separate ways, I moved on to having Nikayla Codi Hansen Born the exact
day of Jaylei the following year 2001, she became an Angel at 2yrs of age...
Words cant describe the silence of my loss of Jaylei, i did not know my rights to my baby and did
not even know the sex, or get to have a burial/cremation...
No handprints or footprints.... nothing at all... ****Tears****
But i now have begun to recognize Jaylei and Grieve for the loss...
I'm now married to a beautiful man and we have 3 living children:
Maleiya Tala (march 03)
Ditanyia Rosina-Lee (december 05)
Tejay Wayne (december 06) - we lost his twin at 9weeks gestation
My husband is now Jaylei & Nikayla's spirit Daddy, as he is the one who has included them in
everything and supported my grief....
********Forever missing you Jaylei********
Help me Jaylei
My first born, My wonder of the world.... Please help Mama understand how to work things and heal from the tragedy that took you away and from the way you were took away.... I get so upset when people call you a HE or a SHE... Do they not know it leaves your Mama feeling so torn and it is so bittersweet that all it does is make me wonder more? I can't deal with it baby, Yes it is easy for me to assume who you were gender wise but I can't do that, I can't live in my own thoughts, I need to think of you.... I always thought I knew who I was pregnant with but I was surprised a couple of times too....
I JUST WANT YOU IN MY ARMS BABY, I JUST MISS YOU, I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU, I JUST LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO HELP ME HEAL BABY, I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU EVER!
Love Always sweetheart, Mama Xxxx
To My Sweet Jaylei
My beautiful Jaylei,....
I feel so alone sweetheart, I feel like now I have come out and started to grieve for you that everyone around me turns a blind eye to it all....
I blame myself for the loss, I should of known better than to put myself in a possible dangerous situation, to risk losing you... My everything, My hope to cling to life....
I still havent told your father that i gave birth to you with sweat blood and tears that day, he does not know that while he was in the waiting room I was all alone in this toilet giving birth, as concerned as he was I trusted him with everything of the situation but I felt so alone and shocked that I walked out of that toilet in agony with your dad thinking it was getting close to me having you....
I seen you baby, please help me understand why I deserved to have any more kids after i pressed the flush button.... It kills me to not be able to go back and scoop you up and do what was right for you.... Why Jaylei? Why did I freeze like that? Why was i so scared to pick you up? I remember it all like it was yesterday and it haunts me to the core every single day baby....
Are you my little baby Girl, or My little baby Boy???
Baby these questions kill me inside!
People say I was only young and it wasn't my fault(Small amount of people ive told) but im riddled with guilt, I was young, yes, but i'd also been through enough to know better....
Why did I let you go like that and upon the ultrasound when they were stunned not to find anything but placenta pieces everywhere, I lay there squeezing your dad's hand flat on my back with tears as silent as your birth was flowing....
Im so numb still, I feel like it was my punishment of what happened to Nikayla, I have so much guilt, but I never intentionally meant to do what I did...
I was absent, too busy fearing what people would do to you or me maybe, I was so scared at that very moment I saw you baby....
I'm so sorry and I think of you so much and turning back time is impossible, I wish I could, I cant....
I Love you always forever my First Sweet Baby....
I;m so sorry my little bundle, I truly am. No words can express my pain, guilt and shame and confusion. I hope you can see it.
Love you Jaylei, Love Mama Xxxx
I\'m Sorry
I am sorry for your loss I really am. Your little Baby is with all the other little ones now. I wish it were different for you all I really do.
Take care of yourself.
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Beautiful angel Jaylei
Here is a teddy bear for you sweet angel as you can never have too many.
I hope you are playing happily with my daughter Livvy but try not to get up to too much mischief together.
send mummy and daddy lots of floaty kisses as i know thy miss you so much.
with love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
OurForeverBabies.com
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